All emotions are healthy, and they all have their place and serve a purpose. When emotions overwhelm our ability to process them in safe and healthy ways, it can be beneficial to learn methods of coping and processing these strong feelings. Anger can be extremely intense, and it may be difficult to manage. If you find yourself struggling to keep your temper in check, we hope you’ll utilize some of the anger management techniques described below or work with a therapist to develop a strategy that works for you.
1 – Walk Away & Relax
Those who struggle with anger management have likely been told to walk away from that situation that’s triggering anger. In addition to walking away, you should take steps to relax and alleviate anger. This can be something simple like taking deep breaths, calling to mind a pleasant memory, or repeating a calming word or phrase. In order to reduce anger levels in general, you can perform these relaxation practices daily or learn relaxation techniques like yoga or meditation. Additionally, you should build these anger relieving tools into your schedule daily rather than waiting to feel angry to use them.
2 – Ground Yourself in the Moment
Anger is often linked to events outside the present. Something that’s currently happening may be upsetting you, but there are usually deeper issues at play. The experience reminds you of past events or interactions, and you feel like you’re always getting the short end of the stick. Additionally, focusing on the present moment and grounding yourself can also alleviate overwhelming emotions. Grounding can be as simple as listing things you can see, smell, hear, touch, and taste in your immediate surroundings. Another great grounding technique is to have a small focusing object.
Fidget toys, poppers, and other small items are great options.
3 – Challenge Assumptions that Lead to Anger
Anger often stems from inaccurate beliefs and assumptions. At times, slowing down and listening to the other person’s responses and thinking before you speak can alleviate anger. Really consider what you want to say, why you feel angry, and how you would like someone to speak to you in a similar situation. If you can’t keep your cool and think through the conversation clearly in the moment, ask to consider the situation and get back to them later.
4 – Think, Calm, Process, THEN Respond
If you’re working to improve communication and better manage anger, there’s a simple way to achieve better interactions with others and reduce feelings of anger:
- Think – don’t snap or give your knee-jerk reaction. Think and then speak.
- Calm – walk away or ask to discuss this later. This gives you time to calm down, relax, and continue thinking through the situation.
- Process – consider why you’re angry and what (if anything) the other person can or should do to make the situation right. What responsibility do you have to fix the situation? Is this situation worth being upset about? Really process the emotions and the current situation.
- Respond – take the time you need to think through things before you respond. When you respond, remember that you only know your own mind and needs. Use “I” statements to express your needs, goals, and frustrations. You can set boundaries, but you don’t need to be rude or aggressive.
5 – Stay Healthy
When we feel ill, tired, or generally unhealthy, we’re more likely to be irritable. You’re cranky when you’re tired. Hunger-related anger has its own word “hangry.” In general, getting enough sleep, eating a nutrient right diet, staying hydrated, and exercising can all help to improve mood and make it easier to manage anger and other emotions.
6– Talk to a Professional
If you’re struggling with anger or other intense emotions that are interfering with your ability to lead a fulfilling life, talking to a therapist gives you support to reclaim your sense of stability. When you’re ready to get started working with a professional therapist, don’t hesitate to reach out to the Lotus Psychology Group team over the phone at (248) 957 8973, via email at info@lotuspsychgroup.com, or by filling out our
online scheduling request form.